Meet Lonnie...a seafaring spinner of tall tales and valuable bits of wisdom

July 23 & 24: Brockport NY
July 25 & 26: Fairport NY

We first met Lonnie (aka Lonzo) as we were motoring into Brockport. His was the first sailboat (s/v Smooth Moves) that we'd seen on the canal. He said he was also heading toward Florida. We said we'd meet up once we got to Brockport and talk.

Brockport was great, but it rained a great deal, so we had lots of time to sit around the table and talk. Lonnie is one interesting fellow. He has had more experiences than most of us will ever achieve. He said after high school, when his other friends were going off to college or getting jobs, he said he wanted to take his 20 years of retirement up front. He says he's never held a real job but he's worked all his life: as a carpenter, a jewelry maker, an antique dealer ("I specialize in the highly unique") and for a good part of his life, in the "delivery" business between the Keys and Carribean. He says he's quit that job for good because it's gotten too risky. He's now working on a degree in creative writing. I think he has a promising career in front of him! He certainly has lots of material to draw upon.

Lonnie-ism #1:
"I've made a lot of money and I've lost a lot of money and there's only one thing I've got to say...Ill-gotten means are easily pissed away."

(I think he should get that ditty embroidered on a pillow for his boat!)

Anyway, Lonnie says he's sailed over a quarter million miles and still only knows about a quarter of what there is to know about sailing. "It's someting you constantly learn." He's been in the Keys, Jamaica, the USVIs and the BVIs including Anegada, Cuba, Africa, Thailand and "all over the Indian Ocean." He learned to sail from David Wegman who is a well-known sailor and artist. (Interesting character, himself. Lonnie said he heard David recently sued some lady for cutting off the tip of his beaded beard. Hmmmm)

Lonnie-ism #2

"There are two things I cannot abide on a boat...a thief or a liar. If I found out any of my crew was either of those, they were kicked off the boat at the next port. Now...I don't steal and I don't lie. However, I will embellish. Because an embellishment is based on the truth...with just a little extra thrown in to make it interesting."

I have more Lonnie stories than I can possibly tell here, besides, they are best told in person. But here's one he told over supper that you'll enjoy.

"We were in the Chagos, which is about 3 - 4 weeks east of Madagascar in the Indian Ocean. It's a safe layover for cruisers waiting for the best weather to move from Malaysia to South Africa. Now, it usually blows 300 days a year in the Indian Ocean. Seems like we were there for the 65 days that it did not. We didn't want to use up our provisions for the passage so we ate off the land. We mixed coconut with sugar and cooked patties on a grill we set up over an open fire. We tried to fish as well, but if you hooked anything you had to pull it in fast before the sharks got to it. I managed to catch a great grouper one day and was cleaning it on the dock. Two eels lived under the dock on either side. I accidently dropped the grouper filet in the water and I was damned if that eel was gonna get it. So I jumped in, grabbed the filet and jumped out on the dock. And wouldn't you know at least 3 foot of that eel was up on the dock just squirmin' away trying to chase me down."

(Sorry Lonnie, but that really sounds like an embellished tale to me!)

Lonzo coming into Fairport, where he invited us for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. He served rum that he learned to love when he visited Cuba. "The Cuban woman are beautiful and they love, American men. Love 'em. But of course they would, we're all so good looking!"

Marlin Spike rigging knife that we bought off Lonnie. He had a great collection of antique ones and newer ones. This is from the 1970's. He said it's a must for a sailor to have on deck. "You never know when a line is going to wrap around your big toe. Gotta have a good knife to cut yourself free. I've seen several guys lose their toes because they weren't equipped." The spike is used to splice line together or tie fancy knots.

When he had out his case I saw this bracelet and asked about it. "It was made by a woman in Mozambique. Her husband was a descendent of the famous Watusi Warriors and they lived in a mud hut. His wife was very talented. He had to pay 4 cows for her!"

Of course, I had to buy the bracelet as well!